Whisky Deathmatch Semi-Finals

February 1st, 2013

Ooooh, we’re getting to the sharp end now.  Twelve whiskies entered, and after two rounds and ten fights to the doom, crushed boxes and shattered bottles, corks ripped from necks and whisky gouting, spritzing, spraying and sprinkling the sands of the arena, only four are still standing – Savoury and sophisticated mastermind Highland Park 18, dangerously unhinged supervillain Ardbeg Corryvreckan, ultra-suave powerbroker Glenfarclas 21, and beautiful yet ruthless Balvenie Single Barrel.

Any one no doubt a worthy champion, but which pair shall face each other for the ultimate prize in . . . er . . . whisky tastings by English Fantasy Authors?  No!  Curses, that would be Mark Charan Newton’s whisky blog.  The greatest prize in the whisky deathmatch section of this blog.  Yes!  Ahem.

Our semi-finals, to be conducted over the next couple of weeks (maybe), shall be, on the salty side of the draw:


And on the sweet:


Mouth watering deathmatches in prospect!  I can’t wait to get started!  Is 8.45am considered too early for a dram?  Probably I should wait ’til 9.  But then I am on a break, right…?

Posted in whisky deathmatch by Joe Abercrombie on February 1st, 2013.

15 comments so far

  • Gary says:

    Could you liken any whiskies to some of the main characters in your books? i.e. What whiskey would the bloody nine be? I can imagine Glokta would be quite a bitter tasting one..

  • innokenti says:

    Excellent contenders for the top spot I think!

    Last week, for Burn’s Night a friend brought over some Taiwanese whisky – Kavalan. Fantastic stuff. Good, proper whisky base but with a spicy, almost rum-like finish to it. Tasty stuff.

  • Mark says:

    I think at the semi-final stage you can afford to start taking bets from people. What odds do I get for the CORRYVRECKAN to win?

  • Smoochie says:

    Just to be smug: I unfortunately turned 40 recently (sob, boo-hoo, etc) but my lovely wife bought me a bottle of Glenfarclas 40 to compensate 🙂

    I haven’t dared open it yet. I’m waiting for the perfect moment, which never seems to *quite* arrive.

  • Frank Fitzpatrick says:

    I feel drunk just looking at them.

  • Joe Abercrombie says:

    I’ve got the 21 because I’m 21. Honest. Really. Just last week.

    I’ll take 10,000 pounds of your money at 100:1. I’m reasonably sure I can arrange for Corryvreckan to go out in the next round if I have to…

    In the first round I recommended a point of view character to go with all the original dozen. Click on the whisky deathmatch category and go back to those earlier matches…

    Surely if there’s any night to drink scotch it’s burns night. You can have taiwanese whisky (whiskey?) every other day of the year.

  • Mark says:

    Innokenti – Kavalan is fantastic stuff! Had some at The Whisky Show late last year.

    Joe – Now I’m not quite sure that’s how it works…

  • Count Spatula says:

    @ Gary – I put a spreadsheet together so I could keep track of the POVs. The current contenders are Glokta (Highland Park 18), Shenkt (Ardberg Corryvreckan), Cosca (Glenfarclas 21) and Murcatto (Balvenie Single Barrel). A VERY interesting selection, me thinks.

  • Zissou8 says:

    My money (too little to concern Mr. Abercrombie) is on the single barrel. ..though the Glokta comparison does make Highland sound a bit invincible.

  • xserpx says:

    Guys, guys, it’s gonna be Shenkt. He’s unstoppable, a force to be reckoned with, and quite frankly he’s my favourite character. Never tried the whisky, but god damn it even to be compared with Shenkt it must be the best.

    Yes, I’ll even go so far as to bet the Tesco receipt I thought was a £10 note until I pulled it out of my pocket just now that the Ardbeg will be crowned champion.

  • Thaddeus says:

    Ha, must admit, these entertaining posts have made me consider having the occasional whisky. You corrupter of the virtuous and sober, Mr. Abercrombie!

  • Jabba1701 says:

    I don’t know why, but when the whiskey deathmatch posts come up in my news feed I’m always at work… usually a night shift 🙁 Damn you Abercrombie, Damn you to the romance section!

  • Will says:

    Whiskey deathmatch?

    Well, fuck.

    Now I have no choice but to read your books.

  • Adam A. says:

    Great idea to seperate them by palette, Joe. Like to like in the semis; salty and sweet in their own tiers. Perfect distinctions.

    Unfortunately, if there is an ultimate winner, it will likely be based on your preference between salty and sweet. So I’ll definitely be forced to track down both finalists.

    Which ain’t so bad…

  • Roderigo says:

    It must be corryvreckan.. Nothing can match it for complexity & pure power… They are all greats though..

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