The Joe Abercrombie Christmas Sale

These days I get quite a lot of requests for me to sign things of one kind or another via the post.  And I mean quite a lot, especially around this time of year.  For people who want me to sign their book by post/send them signed photographs at my expense (or, indeed, theirs)/deliver by hand my eye teeth, my policy has to be this:

I REGRET THAT I DO NOT SIGN THINGS BY POST.

Maybe that seems harsh.  Maybe it seems small and mean, like I’m an edgy fantasy Ebeneezer Scrooge, and maybe I am.  Maybe you think a few minutes out of my day on behalf of my dedicated fans is not too much to ask.  But the thing is, I might get 10 such requests a month, or more, and they’re surprisingly time-consuming to deal with.  Unless I want to give out my home address (I don’t, much) I have to get stuff sent to my editor or agent, then it’s their time spent handling it, and my time spent emailing and arranging it, then signing it, then packing it and sending it back.  The postage is never right.  Then things go astray and people get upset and others have to chase the mail and … NO.  I’m really sorry, I am, but I’ve got more actual writing work than I can handle already without moonlighting for the postal service.

I REGRET THAT I DO NOT SIGN THINGS BY POST.  REALLY.

But all is not lost!  If you DO desire a signed book, photo, bra, etc. and it’s lovely that you do, your options are these:

1. Come to an event.  I will more than happily sign for you at any appearance.  At bookshop events you may have to buy a book, but no one’s going to be upset if you bring other books to sign.  Usually I’ll happily sign whatever  you’ve got of mine.  If there’s an unusually high attendance and hence long queue, we might have to send folk to the back after getting their first book signed, or maybe limit things if the staff really need to turn the lights off, but that rarely happens.  At a convention, unless I’m right in the middle of something, feel free to collar me and, again, I’m more than happy to sign anything of mine you’ve got.  I mean, if you’re a dealer with 50 books, I might get all twitchy but, in essence, find me at an appearance or convention, I will sign.

2. Go to a dealer that carries signed stock.  Around release date of a new book I usually sign some stock.  Goldsboro Books or Forbidden Planet are good options, and you could probably reserve a signed copy with them before publication if you so desire.  They’ll also probably have some signed stock in any Waterstones I pass through if I’m touring.  They might even be able to swing a dedication if you ask nicely…

3. Buy a book from my bumper Christmas e-bay sale.  Whenever something gets published, I get sent copies.  Sometimes I get sent loads of copies.  They sit in my wonderfully dry and well insulated basement in appetising mint condition.  Every now and then, when the shelves overfloweth with the bounty of my publishers, and usually in the run-up to Christmas, for tis the season of giving, I and my wife organise a sell-off with the proceeds going to charity.  Books of various types and editions will appear on e-bay for purchase, with postage price displayed, and in these books you can get written pretty much anything you like (though Joe don’t draw).  They might even arrive in time for Christmas.  Who’s Scrooge now?

I REGRET THAT I DO NOT SIGN THINGS BY POST.

BUT it just so happens that there are a bunch of my books up on e-bay RIGHT NOW, with others going up over the next couple of days.  All proceeds go to Shelter, a UK homelessness charity, and I’m delighted to say that thanks to your goodwill, generosity, and hunger for high-quality fantasy fiction, we already raised some £500 yesterday alone.  So if you want something signed as that special gift for the committed Joe Abercrombie fan in your life: NOW IS YOUR RARE OPPORTUNITY.  That is all.

Posted in announcements, appearances, news by Joe Abercrombie on December 3rd, 2013.